It has taken us a while to write about this case because it’s a very difficult and emotional topic. We’d like to say we can always trust our court system. We’d like to say that we believe in the verdicts that are handed down. But the truth is, we know that the history of our society’s handling of sexual assault cases and there have been very few convictions. If every case of guilt ended in a just verdict, we’d have seen a lot more powerful men in prison.
The truth is, just because you can’t prove assault under our current legal system, doesn’t mean an assault didn’t happen. Our system is more often stacked against victims from the very first moment they reach out for help. In fact, our system is often stacked against victims from the moment they are born. We raise our children in an environment that shames and blames women for what they wear, where they go, and who they talk to. Our children grow up with very convoluted messages about respect and consent. Our children see powerful people accused of assault and abuse who are welcomed back into society without facing any sort of real consequences (looking at you, Louis CK).
We all have to do more. We all have to do better. We have to start by teaching our children (and honestly, most of our adults) that CONSENT MATTERS. If the other person is drunk, it’s not consent. If you’re in Illinois and the other person is under 17, it’s not consent. If they don’t seem sure, it’s not consent. If they didn’t say yes, but they didn’t say no, it’s not consent. If you had to convince them, threaten them, or even talk them into it, it’s not consent. Anything less than a 100% freely given, enthusiastic YES is not enough.
And when that bar isn’t met, there have to be consequences. No more slaps on the wrist. No more stern words of admonition. No more slinking off to hide for a few months. Time is up and we are outraged. Our children deserve better. Victims deserve better. We all deserve better. And we’re demanding it.
If you’ve been a victim of sexual abuse or assault, Safe Passage is here for you 24/7. We believe you. We support you. We’ll stand with you every step of the way. Give us a call at 815-756-5228. All services are completely free and confidential.